This part of my blog is dedicated to my father and mother. I’m experiencing 2 kinds of grief: my father’s death and my mom’s long goodbye due to her dementia which we will call “anticipatory grief”. 

I was not sure if to share this part of my life with the internet because grieving is something very personal but sometimes it feels very lonely, not many people understand how it feels and sometimes they don’t even know what to say.  

I will be sharing my experience with grief and how I have been dealing with it. So, you know, I am not a therapist or counselor or a psychologist, I am a normal person just like you who is experience loss. I want you to know that if you are going through something similar, you are not alone, there are millions of people around the world who lost a parent, sibling, daughter, son, friend, pet, etc. All kinds of grief are welcome here. Grief is a real thing, you are not a weirdo because of the way you are feeling, and it takes time, a lot of time for you to be back to your “new normal”, to be you and live your life without your loved one. 

Closing the casket of my dad at his funeral is something that I won’t never forget and comes to my mind often and lately that image has visited me in unexpected moments, I can be driving my car or at the grocery store or at my morning power walk and out of the blue that moment comes to my mind, and I feel cold and a big sadness that makes me want to cry. Yes, that is grief. It will get easier, they say. But, for now I want to feel and experience the whole process. I don’t wait to avoid or deny it, I know if I do that, it will come later in life. We all will experience it at some point of our lives. 

My father died on June 27th, 2024, it was fast and unexpected. Yes, he was old and had some mild health issues, but he was not agonizing or in hospice care. My mom has Alzheimer, and she is in a middle stage, this year there have been a couple of times that she did not know who I am. Also, I said goodbye to my childhood home in 2023, I packed all the memories of almost 40 years in boxes and got rid of many.  

And because baking is something that I enjoy doing, I will be posting recipes that remind me of my dad, mom or because I just want to share something tasty with you all. 

I hope you enjoy reading my stories and if you have any comment or suggestion, you can send me an email to [email protected] 

Also, join me on Instagram @grief_baking 

 

Sandra. 

 

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” Jamie Anderson